After coaching children and parents for over five years there is literally nothing in the parenting sphere that surprises me. However there are many things I have learnt as a parent not to do. And today I want to talk about a subject that most mothers specifically, are guilty of. Apologies if this does not apply to you.
Being a NAG!
I have had an eighteen year old who accused his mother of being a nag and hismother promptly went ahead and proved him right during their coaching session with me. While she spoke he actually covered his ears!
All of us make mistakes as parents and that is absolutely fine. Being a Parenting Coach myself I am not immune to making mistakes while raising my two children. The only thing to consider is when you become aware of your errors it is important to try and rectify them otherwise it could mean the breakdown of your relationship with your child. A stitch in time saves nine and I implore parents not to wait for the problem to become so painful that retracing your steps becomes an excruciating process.
1) Get your child to value and respect your words: Much easier said than done! Please refrain from speaking in long-winded paragraphs and sounding like Volume 1 of an old encyclopedia. This is the age of what’s app and instant messenger. Talk to your child in bullet points keeping the communication short, sweet and to the point. Do not keep repeating the same thing.
2) Let your child know you mean business. If you have given instructions or stated the boundaries – your voice, tonality and body language must communicate the same. Your child must know that you are going to follow up and your instructions need to be carried out by him otherwise he will have to suffer the consequences.
3) Follow through with consequences incase he does not listen. If you do not follow through with the consequences then your child will take you for granted thinking that I can get away with anything because my parent will not bother with the consequences. Usually we tend to take away things from the upcoming weekend, but when the weekend arrives you feel its easier to just let your child have his laptop or go out with his friends and you will get some peace.
4) As parents be clear in communicating the firm boundaries that your child needs to respect. Your child will benefit when he knows what is expected from him in clear terms. Just the way in school, children know when they can have a lunch break because it is clearly communicated. However, they can choose which sport they would like to pursue. So the school clearly communicates what are firm boundaries and what are flexible, there is no ambiguity.
5) Seek professional help from me a Parenting Coach. If you are truly struggling with communicating with your child and need professional help to guide you as a parent on how best to communicate with your child so he listens and to help your child learn how to respond and communicate please contact me NOW!
As your family’s life coach I will help you and your child::
- understand your individual needs,
- how and when to communicate with each other,
- listening with the intent to understand the other,
- building respect,
- and maintaining boundaries and following through.