Today’s topic is: ARE YOU A ‘LABEL’ PARENT? Are you boxing your children in a closed box? Recently I have had a lot of parents contact me for coaching for their child. And when I’m speaking to them and sometimes when I have the parent speaking to me in person, with their children next to them. I hear things like:
“ He is very disorganized”
“ She is very very sporty”
“ My child is completely butter-fingers”
Parent, please be careful. After continuous repetition, the belief that the child forms in their mind becomes a behavior. What we are doing as parents is: for example if you call your child butter-fingers, and he/she drops something the first time, second time, third time and you are there saying: ‘Oh, see, aren’t you butter-fingers.’ The first time second time and third time around. It becomes more concrete in their brain. And the next time round, even you are not there, and they drop something or they’re careless, that label comes back into their mind and confirms to them the negative belief system that has started to form within them. And this carries on to adulthood.
How do I know that? I know that because I have many adults that come to me for life coaching to help deal with the negative belief patterns that they have formed, formed from their childhood, by things that their parents said to them, by things that their teachers said to them. I recently had a lady who started coming to me because she had very very low self confidence, and she told me about her experiences in school, even when she tried to do well, she had certain teachers who had a very negative opinion about her, and she was never marked properly, and this is somebody who is around 40 years old. So she was never marked properly, her friends made fun of her. And she was never able to come out of that shell and sank further and further into it. And, she continued to lack self confidence until she realized that that low self-confidence started to affect what her children were modeling after her. And that is when she came to me for coaching because she wanted her children to see a more confident mother a more confident role model, and I gave complete kudos to her for taking this step.
As parents we tend to label our children for 2 reasons:
- Because of our fears
- Because of our dreams for our children
But what happens between the box of fear and the box of dreams? What you’re losing out! Your child. Your child that is very different to the dream or fear. So what we need to do as parents is see the complete child. What are the talents, strengths that my child is bringing to the table. What can I encourage? So to actually wear a neutral lens while seeing your own child rather through a colored desires and dreams and fears. So parents I urge you to look at your child through a neutral lens, and see what are his innate strengths and talents. I hope this tells you to stay away from labeling your children and putting them in boxes and opening up your vision for your child so they can grow wings and become the people they want to become themselves, focussing on their strengths and talents.
For more children workshops contact me at [email protected] or Facebook: Athena Coaching Solutions or call (+971)-56-1399033