Hispanic mother and son listening to mp3 player
Recently I was approached, by parents of a teenage boy who had just stopped listening to them. Every time the mother would say something he would just cover his ears with his hands!
Nothing they said could get him to listen. He had reached a point where whether his parents said something for his benefit or admonished him he would just shut out their words.
On many occasions he would just spend all his time inside his room coming out only for meals. There was a complete breakdown in communication and nothing the parents were doing or saying was working.
When I began coaching him he said that his mother was a NAG! That she raised her voice unnecessarily and kept nagging him 24/7. He said she was constantly ‘lecturing’ him and shouting at him. He was tired of her and her words no longer had any impact on him.
His attitude had become “I don’t care” what she says. This is a stage that many parents dread and some actually face.
I then had a separate coaching session with his mother and she did realize that she needed to make changes in the way she communicated with her son, which was the first step. That if she wanted her son to listen to her she had to do it in a manner that was respectful and loving while being firm and assertive. Parents have to show respect to gain respect; parents have to model listening for their child to do the same.
The teenager also realized that he was their child and if there were certain chores he was asked to do then he had to follow through, if he was expected to work towards getting better grades then he had to do his best. The teenager also understood that there were certain boundaries he had to respect.
And through the next couple of weeks things began to fall into place.
However, it was important for the mother to realize her communication pitfalls and correct them to show her son that she was willing to learn, correct her ways and change to improve their relationship.
Her flexibility and open mindedness encouraged her son to do the same. And instead of being stubborn and arguing that they were right in their respective perspectives through coaching they realized the value in learning and changing to create more peace and harmony in the family.
Can you relate to similar scenarios in your home? Is your child not listening to you? And if he does listen to you is it after repeated reminders? Are you tired and drained out from constantly repeating yourself and being labeled ‘the nag’ in your home?
Are you ready to make a change in the way you parent your child? Would you like to make the first step? Register for FREE for Athena’s 7-Day Challenge: How to get your child to LISTEN to you without being a NAG!