Good Monday morning to all of you! Today I have a professional from the I.T. Industry in India, writing to me with a question: “Please help me. I have changed 5 jobs in 5 years due to unbearable work conditions. Bosses, who have bullied me, and colleagues, we have turned their back and damaged my credibility.” Well, the answer today is something that you might not want to hear, but as a life coach, it is my job to show you the right direction.
There are two individuals, one, who lives at cause, and one who lives at effect. When we are living in effect, we blame the environment. So our office, our bosses, our colleagues, the law, the government, the policies, for all the problems and issues that we are facing. So that is living in a life of effect, where everybody else is to blame, and if all of these things changed, then our lives would be perfect. But if you are sending me this question, and I have to coach you, or say something to you, then it is still not going to help the situation because I am not going to coach the rest of the world, your bosses, policies, etc. So you will continue to face those problems.
However, if you flip that, and you decide that you are at cause, that you are at the centre of your universe, and everything that is created around you is a reflection of yourself – it is a reflection of your experiences, it is a reflection of your values, it is a reflection of your belief systems. And therefore, if we make a change in your beliefs, you could be having beliefs like, “My bosses are never supportive,” “I always have colleagues who do not mingle well with me or with whom I do not mingle,” or “This is not the place where I can be myself,” and so on, about some negative beliefs that are running inside of you, yes, because of some past instances.
So what I am not, at all diluting your experiences, or I am not for one saying your experiences are not your own, but what I, as a life coach, am expressing is, we need to learn from our experiences, we need to learn even from the most negative experiences, and say “How can I be in charge?” and “How can I learn from this and move on?” So, for example, we have something called the Reticular Activating System that holds on to things that are important to us. For example, when you are at a party, where there is loud music playing and lots of people talking, and you can barely hear anyone else, if someone calls your name, you turn around instantly. Because the most important thing for you is, your name, and therefore, you turn around. Another thing is visually, lets say you love red Ferraris, every time you are on the road, you will say, “Oh there goes one and there goes one!” So what is important to you is the red Ferrari. And that has come because you have a Ferrari, your friend has a Ferrari, you have sat in one, and therefore that thing becomes important to you. You become passionate about is, you live dreaming about owning a red Ferrari and therefore you notice it in your environment.
And in the same manner, if you have certain beliefs that cause you to believe that “The office environment is not contusive to my personal growth,” or “My bosses are not good people,” or “My colleagues tend to turn around and back bite me.” Those are things that have become important to you, yes because of your past negative experiences, and therefore whatever anybody does, what you tend to pick up from the environment is all the negative experiences.
So when you come to me, when you do coaching with me, what I do is I help you to realize what past experiences are causing you to have those negative beliefs, and how we can learn from those past experiences, and flip it, so that, the negative experiences no longer exist and what we need to focus on is our positive learning’s. And then, we are in the power of changing our environment, because we are no longer seeing our environment in those glasses.
So, I know this isn’t the answer to your question, and I am not offering you any strategies, because having 5 different jobs over 5 years is not a matter of coincidence, it is something in ourselves that is creating those experiences for us, those patterns. So I would urge you to look within yourself.
And if you need someone to help you along the way, I am here offering my services, to adults like you to help you to realign those beliefs and experiences so that it creates the most positive life for you. A life, where your values are lived on a daily basis throughout your personal life, through your professional life, and a life, of happiness, contentment, and fulfillment.
You can email me on [email protected], or call me on, Dubai number, (+971) 56 1399033. Look forward to connecting with all of you. Do keep sending those emails in. Take care then! Bye for now.