Today I have a question from another young teen. Welcome teens to my video blog. And this question is related to a feeling that stays with us for most of our lives. It’s starts when we are really little and we want the toy that the other child has and we don’t have .Then when you become children or teenagers, it about wanting the other things that your friends have, about the marks your friends are getting, or the boyfriends or girlfriends your friends are getting. And when you grow up, into adulthood, it could be the job, house, car that your friends have and so on. And so on and so forth. And I’m sure you’ve identified your feeling, that ‘green’ feeling, of envy and jealousy.
So the question for today is “How do I stop myself from being jealous of my own best friend?”
1. Identify the feeling and the fears behind that feeling. Is it a feeling of you cannot get what she has. You had a bad relationship but she has a good relationship now you can’t have. So identify the feeling and the fears behind that feeling. But always remember that jealousy is a normal feeling and it’s something that all of us experience at some point in our life.
2. Congratulate your friend. Join in the success and celebration. And I know that can be tough but if you force yourself to do it by swallowing your ego. What will happen is that you will begin to feel generous and large hearted. So you could actually fool your feelings and begin to feel more expansive.
3. Flip the jealousy to motivate yourself to improve. So for example lets say your friend has topped the class in maths and you are very jealous that she has and you haven’t. Maybe approach her for help, approach your parents to improve your maths and get better at it. Flip the negative feeling to a positive feeling of being motivated and inspired.
4. Look at people in totality. We are all a mix of some strengths and some weaknesses. And your friend might be great at maths but she might not be so good at music and dance that you would be good at. So look at people in totality. I’m not asking you to focus on peoples weakness. But I’m asking you to understand and be in that position of maturity, to understand that even you are a complete package with your strengths and weaknesses.
5. Look at your own unique talents. Your own uniques strengths, and if there’s a need, make a list of them and you will realize the number of things that you excel in, that you enjoy, and that you are naturally so good at.
6. Take action. Take action towards improving your skills in any particular area that you want to improve in. So make a list of two or three things and if it’s, for example, is singing, take classes to improve in that area. If it’s in drawing take classes for drawing. Take action in whatever area of your life you need to improve and that will help to take your focus off being jealous towards your friend and back to yourself and that will help to re energize and make you positive.
So I hope that helps to take you away from the green monster of envy and back to yourself with these six strategies.
1. Identify the reason for the envy and the fears behind it.
2. Force yourself to congratulate and enjoy the success of your friends
3. Flip the jealousy into a more positive feeling
4. Look at people in totality
5. Focus on your own unique talents
6. Take action towards the things you want to improve in
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