The teen years can be very taxing for both children and parents. Children are going through changes on various levels – physical, emotional and self-identity. There is a huge internal struggle where they are trying to “break away” from their ‘child’ persona and stepping into the world of ‘maturity and young adulthood’. This is a stage where hanging out with peers is more ‘cool’ than being seen with parents.
Some children are ready for the change and transition quite smoothly but some children struggle. It is those children who struggle who tend to become disoriented especially when they are being misunderstood at home. Due to the various changes teens tend to react quicker than they can process the information and therefore end up in messy situations. It is important for parents to continue to look at the situations as the phase their teen is going through and not a personal attack on them.
Recently I have been approached by many parents who feel that there has been a complete breakdown in both communication and relationship between them and their teen. Their teen has either become rebellious and answers back (shouts back in many cases) or has become withdrawn and shrugs his shoulders for everything. Parents tend to feel antagonized and don’t know how to bridge this communication gap.
In the video Monday Mornings with Sunaina Episode 85, I share a small clip from the workshop I conducted last week for parents on How to Talk to your Child.
It is important as parents to have an insight into how you are parenting, how you are communicating, how you are being. Children are modeling you and therefore it becomes important to first look at yourself as a parent before you start to think of ways your child can improve.
How do you think? When you are in a situation with your child it is easier for us to correct him for his bad behaviour or rudeness rather than analyse how you could be responsible for the situation. However, every situation in your life has been preceded by a thought. So what you are thinking now is creating your reality for the next moment, next hour, next day….
The reality in your life has been created by YOU. In order to change your reality whether it is the relationship with your spouse, the behaviour of your child or the power struggle with your colleague – the change needs to begin with YOU.
You are at the centre of your universe and are responsible for what you have created around it you. When you go from victim mode to taking responsibility for your universe you empower yourself to make the change necessary to create the life YOU want. Till you stay stuck blaming everyone else for your problems you will continue to struggle.
Parents need to first look at the way they think and once they make the change they will realize how quickly their child will change for the better. Children are a reflection of their parents and as soon as you start to work on yourself you will see the change in your child.
Action:
If you are struggling with communication and would want to attend the workshop: How to Talk to your Child email [email protected] to get details.